24 hour urine

Seriously now these doctors are starting to annoy me.  They want to check a 24 hour urine to make sure the lupus isn't affecting the kidneys so they can rule that out before/if I get protein in the urine (which is a sign of preeclampsia).  All I have to say to that is in the 15 years I have had lupus, I have NEVER had protein in my urine so if I do now or later in the pregnancy it is because of preeclampsia and not the lupus.  Besides I know when I am having a lupus flare and when I do, I never have proteinuria.

Saw IT today

I saw IT move, the heartbeat fluttering and also heard the heartbeat.  It was an exciting moment.  The perinatologist was very nice.  She said everything looks like it should be.  I wish she would be my OB, but she doesn't do that.  Anyway, they want to monitor me to make sure I don't develop preeclampsia or diabetes, but otherwise I am looking good!  My IT definitely has his/her daddy's head, though.  LOL.  The doc told me that girls of my size generally lose weight during pregnancy, but because I have enough "stuff" the baby will not suffer.  Evidently, the baby will take from whatever I already have.  She wants me to snack like a bird throughout the day rather than eat 3 meals.  That is going to be hard for me.  I am going to make sure I eat good stuff so the baby has everything IT needs.  I am calling the baby IT for now cuz I don't know what IT is yet.  It's either Baby E or Baby S.  I don't wanna reveal my names just yet.  3 more weeks til I can dye my hair, yippeeeeeee!

First OB visit

I have lost 11 lbs!  Thanks morning sickness!  The entire visit annoyed me to no end.  All the blood work that was done at the Fertility Center they want to repeat.  Seriously?!?  The only way I would have gotten HIV and/or syphilis in the past year is if Kevin has cheated on me and I SERIOUSLY DOUBT that.  Kev isn't the cheating type.  Besides I think he fears my hockey stick, just kidding.  So I have to go get stuck again so they can confirm my blood type, antibodies, etc.  FUCKING RIDICULOUS!  I doubt since I have had chickenpox, my immunity for it has changed.  With the amount of cooties that I see in Infectious Disease, if I was not immune to it, I would've had it by now.  On top of all that, they want me to see a high risk OB for a consult because of the lupus, which has not flared in over a year now.  <rolls eyes>  In addition, they want me to gain no weight with this pregnancy.  How is that even possible?  You think the baby will weigh at least 5 lbs and god knows how much the placenta and all that weighs.  Plus they want me to do this glucose test NOW and then when I am farther along.  They sounded shocked that my urine was clean for protein/glucose today.  No duh lady!!!  My blood glucose has never been higher than 110 ever and I have never had any problem with my urine, kidney functions or anything.  I told Dr. Nancy today that I do not want any meds and if the kid is good, just let me pop the little bastard out.  She made my anxiety go into overload when she started talking about chromosomal abnormalities and the baby having Down's.  I need to lie down.  My brain is too overloaded with information.

KLAS

Addendum:  At least on the bright side, I can dye my hair in 4 weeks and I can still have my dates with Senor Imodium.

week 6 blues

Oh so yummy feelings started this week!  NOT!  Let's see my hormones get me going from hot to freezing in less than 10 minutes.  It is really not pleasant.  These feelings can range from "I think I have a fever I am so hot" to "My teeth are chattering I am so cold".  I am depressed emotionally because I do not have an appetite.  I am forcing myself to eat.  I am not enjoying anything I eat.  I do not feel nauseous; however, I would like to enjoy food sometime again soon.  I am constantly tired like I am going thru a lupus flare.  I cannot do anything around the house, because I just feel drained.  I go from hating everything and everyone and being annoyed one second to not really caring about anything or anyone the next.  Everyone says that this is supposed to be a happy time, but I am miserable.  I feel alone in this and I am not really getting any support from Kevin at all.  He is either working, playing his video games, doing my household chores or chatting on Skype while I lay on the couch feeling and looking like a sad sack of shit.

I am beginning to think that surrogacy is the way to go if you want to have a child.  Let them go thru this and I just wait for the baby to come.  I just hope I am not miserable like this for the next 7 months.

KLAS

still hasn't sunk in

It still hasn't sunk it that I am pregnant....it goes the same for Kev too.  He told me last night that it hasn't sunk in yet.  lol  I have been too tired to do anything.  Kev has been picking up the bulk of the work.  Hopefully, what I have been reading is correct and this fatigue lifts after the first trimester.  I am in week 5 of the pregnancy and I have to go for more blood work on Tuesday (really beginning to feel like a human pin cushion now) to check my levels.  Hopefully, they are even higher!!!

Pregnancy confirmed!

Labs done by the fertility doc confirms I am pregnant - about 5 weeks along - and my numbers are excellent!!! They want me to keep up with the prenatals and progesterone.  I have to go back on Monday morning to test further and make sure my numbers are even more higher.  If so, Kevin is going to be a Daddy and I am going to be a Mommy!

Don't get too excited yet!

Called fertility doc and they want me to come in for early pregnancy monitoring tomorrow (more blood work) to see how high my pregnancy level is.....may be a chemical pregnancy or ???  This would majorly suck.  I am not going to think about that now.

KLAS

Test positive

Happy Valentine's Day first off!!  I went to PatientFirst tonight because I have been coughing for the past three weeks and now I am short of breath.  Well they wanted to do a chest x-ray but I wanted them to do a pregnancy test first just in case.....well, the blood test was positive!!!!!!!!!  Holy shit!!!!!  I cried and cried and cried.  I cannot believe it.  Although it is still early, I have started to not drink caffeine.  I have to call all the docs tomorrow - fertility and OB.  This has been the best Valentine's Day ever!

KLAS

P.S. Kevin is really happy also.

Progesterone Hell

This damn Progesterone is driving me insane.  I have had constant cramps and mood swings.  The doctor says it is normal.  One more week until I can test!

progesterone level

Had the blood work today and I was told that my progesterone level is low....I need to go on progesterone suppositories for 10 days.  Now I am worried that the procedure did not work.  I am so upset now.  I wish my body would work for me for once.

The 2WW

as in the 2 week wait.  This is going to be the longest 2 weeks in my life.  I know if the test is negative, then I am going to be devastated and upset for god knows how long.  If the test is positive, then JOY and HAPPINESS reign!

- KLAS

Waiting sucks

According to the ultrasound #5, my left ovary released an egg last night (I felt it too!) but the right ovary is still holding on to the other, but doc thinks sometime tonight it was release.  Anyway, they did the procedure and right now, I am fighting some major depression issues.  My mind is swirling with positive thoughts yet I am dreading waiting 2 weeks to get the verdict.  I have to go back in 6 days to have my progesterone level checked.

- KLAS

On a mission for a BFP (Big Fat Positive)

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY!

Ultrasound #4 was today and both my ovaries are ready to bust out an egg.  I got my shot today and tomorrow will be the big day.  Hmmmm, should I bust out some yoga poses to prep?  HAHAHA, just kidding.

- KLAS

Hold up, wait a minute!! Time out!

So I go for the 3rd ultrasound and the lady tells me that my left ovary has a follicle on it also that measures the same as the right ovary (18!).  Clarification was needed cuz I could not believe my ears.  I said "So when you give me this trigger shot, does this mean that both eggs will release?"  The nurse goes, "Yes Mrs. Stone, there is  a possibility here for twins."  O.O   Yeah my mom is laughing her ass off right now on the other side...."Kare, you said you wanted a baby now I may just be giving you two!!"  Great!  Thanks Ma!

- KLAS

OMFG

I knew it was a possibility, but the thought and the reality of the situation are two entirely different things.

- KLAS

Ovary annoyance

Another ultrasound today.  The follicle has grown 6 mm.  7 more to go!  Back to the doctor on Sunday for another ultrasound. The doc thinks it will be good to go at that time soooooo Kav is going to have to inject me probably on Sunday (sigh!) and go time will be Monday or Tuesday.  We shall see......waiting game as usual.

-KLAS

So, it's one more Dr's appt. on my b-day and then it's go time, possibly. This week will be one of a hopefully long succession of hectic weeks to come.

KPS

Ultrasound take 1

Went to doctor's today.  Beth went with me.  They did the ultrasound and my right ovary has a follicle growing!  Yayayayayay!  Anyway, it is only 12 mm (they like it to be 23 mm before the trigger) so I have to go back on Thursday morning.  Hopefully, it will be 23 mm and they can give me the trigger shot which if they do, the sperminator will be in full effect for Friday or Saturday!!!  lol  Will keep you guys updated!

- KLAS

Why are people such assholes?

So I go in to this place I haven't been in about a year and the guy who owns the joint starts asking me all kinds of questions like "What are you up to?", "What's new?", "When are you and your husband having a kid?"  So I tell him possibly soon.  He looks at me and goes, "Well before you do anything, you really need to lose weight!"  WTF?  What nerve!!  I swear some people are just so damn rude.  I really wanted to respond with something equally rude, but I just wanted to get the hell out of there.  Dude really?  You are casting dispersions on me when your child has Down's syndrome?!

-KLAS

Anxious

My last dose of Clomid is tomorrow thus the ultrasound and procedure will be within the week.  This is causing some severe anxiety and panic attacks.  I am upset that it might not work and I have to start all over again.

- KLAS

And away we go!

Started the Clomid this morning.  Just hoping that there are no side effects.

- KLAS

Problem resolved

My doc is going to have a specialty pharmacy deliver the Ovidrel to them.  I just have to call them and pay for it.  That is what the FSA card is for!  :-)

Kink in plans

So the Rite Aid Pharmacy calls and tells me that the Clomid needs a pre-auth in order for my insurance to pay for it.  So I ask the pharmacist how much it would be out-of-pocket......Mind you that my insurance co-pay for meds is $30.  The pharmacist tells me for all 5 pills it would be $28.99!  Great!  I save $1.01!  I told him that I would pay for it out-of-pocket.  Then the pharmacist tells me that he cannot fill the Ovidrel Rx because they cannot get it.....soooooo, I left a message for my doctor (when I was in today, the RN said to call if my pharmacy couldn't get it or if it was more than $80).  Now I just have to wait for a call back.  Luckily, I do not need this prescription until the 23rd, but still.......

- KLAS

I am going to try and get Kev to blog soon.  Wish me luck, lol.

Lab results

Good news!  All my tests are "excellent".  I start the medication on Monday (Cycle Day 5) and continue for 5 days.  On the 23rd, I have an appointment for an ultrasound to evaluate my ovaries and to receive an injection of Ovidrel.  It looks like Kevin could be getting a baby conception for his birthday.  I am trying really hard not to get my hopes up in case the procedure doesn't take, but I can't help wanting to look at baby stuff, etc.  I know if it doesn't work, we can try again but I know I will be really let down and sad.

-KLAS

The beginning

So today I went to the doctor (Cycle Day 3) so they could draw some labs on me to check on my egg reserve, etc.  Will post later with more.

- KLAS